A monster made in flesh
by alongthedistance
Summary: "Perhaps I'm not just a demon, but a monster made in flesh too."


**A/N: Hi! This is Sandra (onlywordswithoutsense) and Sara (worshiperofunknownstories) and we're happy to bring you our submission for the second day of the Angst Week 2015, with the prompt Monster | Demon. We're so sorry for posting it late but our inspiration belongs to the darkness and it wouldn't show up until it was night time. Anyways, this is the first fic we wrote together and it was such an amazing experience (that we'll try to repeat soon! ^^)!**

 **Thanks to our lovely sisters-slash-betas, Silvia (myentropicmess) and Marta (mavis-118).**

 **PS: Shame on you, Ed Sheeran! This time any of your songs would inspire us T-T**

 **Disclaimer: Fairy Tail Universe belongs to Mashima-sensei.**

* * *

"I think I'm late… You were closing, weren't you?"

Mirajane lifted her head and saw a downcast Laxus looking at her with depressed eyes. Something seemed not to be okay with him, so she stopped cleaning the bar and pointed at a stool.

"I was, but I think we can have a last drink together before we leave. You look terrible today," she said putting a big smile on her face to cheer him up.

"It's okay, I don't want to disturb you," he said turning around.

"C'mon," Mirajane answered while placing two jars on the bar. "You seem to need it, and so do I. I'm a bit tired."

Even though Laxus didn't reply anything, he came closer to the bar and sat on the stool Mirajane was pointing before. With closed eyes and breathing slowly, she took the jar filled with some attractive beverage and emptied it in a blink. The girl stared at him trying to hide her astonishment and, after she drank a swig, she looked at Laxus in the eye.

"What happened to you?" Mirajane asked.

"Nothing…" He just replied.

However, she was too smart to believe his words.

"I see," she answered. "I was afraid that something occurred because of your sad face."

"No…" Laxus said.

Again, silence came to surround the two of them. Mirajane couldn't stop looking at him and she realized that his mouth was trembling slightly. He caressed the rim of the jar with his lips and his gaze was lost in some distant point outside the room.

"Why are you so worried?" She asked him. "You're back now. You're in Fairy Tail again."

"It's not that easy," he sighed. "Maybe nothing is as good as it seems to be."

"Laxus…"

"It's getting late." The thunder dragon slayer stood up.

"I understand how you feel, Laxus. I went through the same," she said placing her hand above his. "Feeling broken inside, not even being able to stare at your nakama in the eye because of what you did. Horrible things that make you feel unworthy."

"How would you know?"

"The faces you see are nothing else than masks, Laxus. Faces disguised with indifferent gestures and smiles, only to hide the evil inside."

"Even your perpetual smile is a mask, then?"

"Sometimes."

Laxus sat down again, their skin still in contact where their hands met. He was captivated by her eyes, blaming himself for not noticing them before. How could he have missed something so appealing? After her confession, all he was able to see was the contrast in her face: cheerful smile but sorrowful gaze.

"Monsters can't hide themselves among fairies." His head was down due to the guilt.

"But I'm a demon and here I am. Just look at me, Laxus." She placed her hand under his jaw and lifted it, forcing him to stare at her again. "We all make mistakes, but any problem can be solved and your beloved ones will be there, next to you, supporting you in the lowest hours and celebrating every step forward."

Silence was his only answer. They stood like that, holding hands and staring at each other, until Mira couldn't stand longer the silence of his despair. She broke their contact and prepared another two drinks for them. Mirajane sat by his side and addressed her hand towards his. Laxus retired it. The girl slowly clenched her fist and dropped it on her lap.

"There's a moment in everybody's life when they feel lost. When people want to abandon and just leave far away, where no one can reach them."

"Well, it's not like I was the one that wanted to go. I got kicked," he answered with a bitter smile.

"And then you got readmitted." Mirajane sighed, trying to gather the strength to continue.

"Not a big merit," he added, ironic. "I just did what had to be done."

"And it was okay. Fairy Tail wanted you back, and here you are. You grew up, solved your past problems and all of it makes you human. You're not evil, you were just a little lost."

"Why do we even keep talking about this, Mirajane?"

"Because I have felt lost too, Laxus. But when the demon came out, a giant showed up to stop it. I think it's time for the demon to do something for her beloved ones, and help the monster to lighten his burden."

Laxus swiveled and brought himself closer to Mirajane and her sad eyes. Then placed his hand onto hers and, staring at her lap, said, "There's no need to-"

"There is. My heart needs to help you, Laxus. Even if I can't see you, no matter how far away you may be, I will always be watching you, remember?" Mira answered while playing with his fingers to finally clench his fist and extend his forefinger making him do the characteristic gesture of their family. Then, setting her own hand like his, she placed it under his, forming a cross, only to let her fingertips to roam through his warm skin and intertwine their fingers later, while saying, "But I happen to see you now, Laxus. I see your pain. I feel your sorrow."

The silence fell upon them once again, heavy and heartbreaking. Agitated sights as poor attempts to talk to each other, doing no more than sink them even deeper into the mire where their memories were. Their hearts throbbing with the desire of escaping from both their chests and bare the feelings they hosted, allowing the monster and the demon face in a "danse macabre" as an unsuccessful attempt of mutual consolation. Mirajane broke the dreadful silence.

"When Lisanna died... When she disappeared I was lost and consumed by hatred. The way back home was the hardest thing I had to endure in my life. My little angel was gone, the light that anchored me to the world. Elfman watery eyes didn't help either. He kept reviving the horror and it tormented his very existence. He walked away from me and withdrew into himself."

Mirajane took a few seconds to continue. Her eyes were soaking wet and her chest felt heavier than ever since her sister came back. Laxus was immersed in her story, touched by her speech.

"No one called it, but the demon answered. Do you even know what Satan Soul means, Laxus? Neither a spell nor a way to canalize the energy, for sure. It's the name of what lies beneath. It's the devil living inside of me. I concede him an increasing part of my own soul and he lends me its strength and ferocity. We've always lived in a fragile balance."

The thunder dragon slayer didn't even know what to answer. A demon living inside the sweet Mirajane? A demon taking over her? Nonsenses, he wanted to shout out loud, nonetheless he kept listening.

"When night overtakes I'm weaker and it took advantage of that. It surfaced when it was certain I wouldn't stop him and tried to calm his neverending appetite for destruction and chaos. The first night he only damaged a few trees. The next one, an abandoned house. I didn't mind it too much though and didn't have the strength to stop it either, so I let it go. Nevertheless, it was never satiated and it ended up needing to take the next step. It needed blood."

"I was ready to go." Mirajane looked through the window and saw the darkness. "I never wanted to hurt any of my nakama and even less my brother, but I knew that if I stayed, only for my selfish wish of company, I would end up allowing the demon to commit the only crime I'd never forgive myself for. So I just picked up the few clothes I had and left. But Fairy Tail came and rescued me." Then, she stared at Laxus. "Makarov, Elfman and even you were there the day I was deciding what I wanted to do with my damn life. However, you don't remember much of it because you were unconscious due to my horrible powers," she smiled a bit. "It was terrible, you know, and I only wanted to be dead just as I thought my sister was. Perhaps I would have lost my entire mind if you had not come to rescue me. And you saved me, by the way." Mirajane caressed Laxus hand while trying to comfort him. "Now you can see it. I'm a demon. All the people have an evil behind their masks."

"My grandfather only told me that you needed a time to be alone… And when we got there, I couldn't even see anything. I got kicked as soon as I entered your room, and they told me it was due to some powerful bastards that had kidnapped you. I believed it... " Laxus said frowning.

"I think I have to apologize because of that," she answered, guilty. "I didn't want you to know about that awful side of me."

Laxus didn't answer and he looked to the table while trying to put his thoughts in order. Had that sweet waitress made him faint? He knew she was strong, after all Mirajane was a S class mage, but he couldn't remember anything else about that distant day.

The girl interrupted his thinking with her pretty voice. "And now, tell me about the evil inside of you. What's worrying our thunder dragon slayer?" she asked with a sad smile.

"What I did," he answered. "I hurt my comrades and I was such a jerk who didn't even care about someone's death. I just wanted to be strong while thinking that power was the only thing we should have been worrying about in this guild."

"But you changed your mind," said the waitress. "Now you know the true meaning of friendship."

"I hurt people, Mirajane, and they were supposed to be my friends, my comrades and my family. I hurt them without blinking, laughing about their pain and making fun of their worries. They had no value to me… and that is what it means to be a monster: to have nothing but wickedness in your heart."

"Laxus, I hurt you too!" She stared at him. "I left you unconscious while I was losing my mind, and that doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"You weren't yourself, Mirajane. You couldn't understand what it feels to be such a stupid, to make friends fight against each other… I was fully aware." Laxus pulled his hand away hers and stood up. "You can't even imagine what it means to be a monster like that. You have a demon inside your body, inside your soul, but the most part of the time that evil is away, slept. I'm a complete monster. I'm my own evil made in flesh."

Mirajane grabbed his jacket before he was too far.

"We are with you now, Laxus. Please, you have to understand it. We are your family and we care about you," she said with her heart breaking inside her chest. "We are monsters, demons, but we have a family. I care about you."

The thunder dragon slayer didn't reply and he didn't even look back while he was walking to the door.

"Thank you for the drinks," was the only thing he said. "I'll pay tomorrow."

Suddenly, the silence surrounded her again. The girl put a sad smile on her face with closed fists. She thought about Lisanna, Elfman and what had happened to them in the past. Mirajane remembered the day when her sister came back and how she couldn't even breath because of the teardrops. And then, she thought about Laxus, the pain he was feeling and his sad eyes. She had never seen him like that, so full of remorse and regrets. Afterwards, she smiled again, this time with melancholy.

"What you don't know," she told to the silence with sorrow, "is that I was the one who really hurt you. Maybe I was the one who put that terrible scar on your hard face… Perhaps I'm not just a demon, but a monster made in flesh too."


End file.
